Yes, yes. I have an ongoing list of “Things I Hate.” Why stop at three? If any of these appear to be repeats that’s because they probably are. I hate them so much, these particular button pushers are worthy of a second listing.
2. Men who wear shorts higher than their knees. What is this? The 70’s? Oh, and they’re a little tight there, buddy. Don’t want you to bend over and split a seam exposing those Sponge Bob Square Pants boxers of yours.
3. People who chew with their mouths open. Do you want a doggie bag for all of the extraneous food bits that fall out of your mouth while you’re talking? You can feed a small third world nation if you keep that habit up. Thanks for contributing!
4. Those that decide to sit in their driveway on plastic chairs instead of lounging in their newly landscaped backyard. Are you afraid you might miss the ice cream man? Are you a Barney Fife of the neighborhood and need to get your speed gun out to make a citizen’s arrest? Lighten up, Francis and do something productive with your life.
6. Hey! those Ugg boots look awesome with your jean shorts and tank top in this 105 degree heat….SAID NO ONE EVER.
7. I hate it when you try to reason with a drunk person. It’s senseless. It’s like hitting a pinata and an anvil falls out.
8. I despise it when I ask my husband, “Do you want shrimp for dinner?” only to receive a question in response, “Do YOU want shrimp for dinner?” Dude – just answer the damn question. Why is it always up to the woman to decide on where to go eat, or what to eat? Why???
9. When people post pictures of themselves using their smart phones on Facebook. They do this on a consistent basis – maybe weekly. Take a look at your profile pics, honey. Yeah – you…..How many of them are of you taking a picture of yourself? We know you love you, really. Now stop.
10. While we’re on the facebook topic…..your constant quotes by famous people are really quite inspirational. Maybe after 2, you may want to stop because then it just gets annoying as shit.
11. Bank of America’s automatic answering system. It took me thirty minutes and giving my account number to four different people before I completed what I needed to do with my business checking account. Chase, on the other hand, took me five minutes and two people. Fuck you, Bank of America.
12. Those flimsy cardboard boxes for mac and cheese that say, “Push here to open”, and you end up using a jackhammer to get entrance to the most addictive food on the planet. I almost lost my thumb using a knife to open the “easy open tab”.
13. Doctor’s Offices. Why do I now have to register before I actually see the doctor? Since I don’t see a regular doctor that often, I sat in her office for thirty minutes before someone informed me that I needed to “register” first in another office across the hall. WTF is THAT about? Then, I was told by the nurse that my doctor was running an hour late. Two words: BUH – BYE.
14. When my dogs look at me with those sad eyes, cock their heads when I’m talking to them and plead for a cookie right after they’ve eaten dinner. I cave in. I HATE THAT…But, I LOVE THEM.