Things I Hate

Yes, another episode of “Things I Hate”. I’m sure a few of these are on your list as well. Feel free to add onto my list by commenting.

1. Slow drivers in the fast lane. And, if there is no fast lane, they do NOT drive thru the yellow, thus making you wait…..and wait……and wait for the green. This is particularly irritating when you have to pee and you are two minutes from home.

2. Women who wear black leggings who shouldn’t. Look, I know we all like to be stylish and comfortable at the same time, but some people just can’t pull off both. If you’re gonna wear black leggings (or any color for that matter), cover up your ass. And, if you can’t cover up your ass, this is a definite indicator that you shouldn’t be wearing leggings at all.

3. Guys at the gym who think shorts from the 70’s are still in vogue. Pssssst…..They’re NOT. No one wants to see your pasty, hairy, sweaty legs, dude. How about wearing longer shorts or sweatpants…..up to your armpits….or better yet, OVER YOUR HEAD.

4. Dogs who feel they can stand over you while you eat. I’m trying to teach my dogs good manners, yet whenever I sit down for a meal away from the table, they think they have my permission to put their front paws on the couch which results in them hovering over my head as I try to eat something. And, don’t think for a minute their mouths are closed while they are looking down at your food. No, no, no. The slight heated panting accompanied by the occasional drip of the tongue drives me insane.

5. Losing at Scrabble. I’ve learned to win a few games against my evil contenders (Dave and Nick), but when I come up with a triple word score with the letters Q and X and STILL lose, I’m pretty pissed off. I think it’s a racket.

6. Using Facebook as a shield.  People get awfully brave on Facebook and they make nasty comments on people’s walls all the time because they aren’t face to face with the person they are making the nasty comment to. Then it suddenly turns into a bully session with profanities flying left and right. It isn’t worth my time. You’re unfriended and apparently not a friend to begin with, so in the words of a family member (who shall be nameless), “You can go fuck yourself”.

7. People who put their grocery carts in the middle of the aisle. Listen lady – comparing prices of deodorant can’t be that compelling when you ignore an “excuse me” to move your cart to the side of the aisle. I’ve never seen someone so focused on deodorant in my life. Maybe she was doing a government study on deodorants. I wonder how much that cost me……

8. Our political system. I hate it. I think we should have terms for everyone in Congress and the Senate. Once you’ve served x number of years, you’re out. Republicans and Democrats alike are ruining this country because they can’t get along. And, if I recall correctly, these same people were voted into office in order to get along for the good of the people who voted for them in the first place. It’s turning into anarchy and we are in for a definite meltdown.

9. Snow. I like it on Christmas Eve. After that, it sucks ass. And, unfortunately I live in a part of the country where we have a chance of snow seven months out of the year….yaaaay. I could move, but I just did….speaking of moving….

10. Moving. Never hire a moving company who does an estimate over the phone. You know you’re gonna get ripped off. When they say “estimate” they mean it. Our movers showed up with a short truck….WTF? They ended up making two trips which lengthened the time of our move and they charged us 40% OVER what the estimate was. And, since it was an “estimate” I had to pay it. Sucks to be me. If you want the name of the moving company I used so you DON’T use them, email me.